I was waiting in the car,
in the middle of putrajaya..
listening to the music from the pendrive,
which I stick to the company car player..
then the handphone ring..
it was lina..
asking me for material name detail..
"azuri, mintak detail material yg nak guna untuk sample XYZ tu.."
"alaa.. aku cerita dalam phone, ko susah nak paham kang.. gi la tanya planner.."
"aku malas la ngan makcik tu.. dia suka bising2.."
"pegi jer la tanya.. aper2 hal kol aku balik.."
as expected, incoming call from factory again..
this time, it was not lina..
it was mary, lina's superior..
her voice of anger hit my ear..
"why don't you just tell lina the material details..!!??"
"you did know how bad our relationship with that makcik, then you still ask us to ask her everything..!!??"
"what so.. c'mon laa.. just give lina the detail.."
then it's my turn to turn on the anger switch..
"i said she won't understand if i explain through phone.. so, just ask that goddamn makcik for the goddamn detail, ok..!!?? i was only not in office for one day, and the only person you can count on is me..? how if i die tomorrow..? how if i quit job tomorrow..? then the company will fall down aa..? go to hell with your bad relationship.. it's your fault if you have bad relationship.."
off the conversation..
for the first time, i didn't feel like to think other's feelings..
why..? cause they never did to me..
i know it..
they just feel want to ask me everything since it's the fast track,
wrong channel but fast track..
not to say i knew things but never want to share..
just want to keep everyone play their own role..
that's what happened to love letter these days..
less people write love letter since
peoples got sms and email as fast track..
and i thought i expressed it..
few days later,
back in office..
i walked around the production with the japanese factory manager..
looking for something which need to be improve..
then i mentioned what happened,
hoping that something will be improve..
"sir, how do you feel that when i was out station, factory staffs called me just to ask simple thing which they can get from the person beside them..?"
"woww.. is that really happened..?"
"yes sir.. i also ask them are they can't do anything if i was not around..? if i quit job tomorrow, the company will shut down and they cannot finish their work..?"
suddenly, his expression changes..
what did i said..? what did i said..?
then only i realize,
he is the one who always use me as a fast track..
he is the one who always ask me simple thing just to need to be sure..
he is the one who always think 8 times to approve my annual leave when the production is peak..
i didn't meant it..
ever "terlajak cakap" everybody..?
I was waiting in the car,
It was the third new year celebration since past 3 months..
Awal Muharram for muslims in dec 09,
January new year for peoples around the world,
and CNY for chinese this month..
i'm still here,
same work place,
same yana n naufal,
n of course, the same me..
same work place with different work load..
same house with that need new decoration..
same yana n naufal who need more attention from me..
same me, but need a little bit refreshment..
(for those who understand, it's like when you want to say "勘弁してくれよ～。。")
never say bored of your life..
never say bored to your work..
never say bored to your house..
never say bored to your family..
and never say bored to yourself..
you got all above in your head,
then you may end up your neck hanging from the ceiling.. (nauzubillah..)
it just a part of the hurdles you need to jump over..
just keep remember,
you think your life sucks, others one worst..
you think your house is hot, others are homeless..
you think you work more than you've been paid, others collect bottles for dimes..
you think your family not fun enough, babies neglected everywhere now..
you think you hate yourself for being you, try be others..
you'll regret it..
for those who still getting down,
even after 3 new years,
let's cheer up,
jump up high and clear those hurdles with the same you..
the more hurdles you jump, the more you'll get better..